


I'll never love again

by Queenofthemontain



Series: Peter Parker likes to sing [5]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Heavy Angst, Love, M/M, Multiverse, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Songfic, Stephen Strange Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 22:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20217403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthemontain/pseuds/Queenofthemontain
Summary: Stephen was used to loosing things now. First his hands, then his friend the Ancient one and then Mordor and now....Tony.He'll never love again.





	I'll never love again

Stephen never felt as empty as he did now. The funeral went as he saw it. Everyone was there ready to say goodbye to Tony. Good bye. How? How could they say goodbye. He looked to his left a small stream of sunlight streamed in illuminating the nanotech arc reactor on the pillow. 

He touched it. The cold of the metal seemed to remind Stephen that this was real. This bed he lied on was real. The sunlight was real. Tony’s death...was real. Peter lied next to him. After the funeral,he took over the job as a mentor. He supposes that Tony would have wanted that..or maybe not. It was his fault that Tony died. He notices that Peter is awake. 

“Peter.”

“Hm”

“Can you sing the song?” 

He feels Peter nod against his stomach, he sits up and takes a breath. 

_ Wish I could _

_ I could have said goodbye _

_ I would have said what I wanted to _

Stephen thinks back to the funeral. How peaceful Tony’s face looked as they closed the casket and sent him to be cremated. Stephen wondered if anyone else felt like this was wrong, burning Tony felt wrong…

_ Maybe even cried for you _

_ If I knew it would be the last time _

_ I would have broke my heart in two _

_ Tryin' to save a part of you _

Tony looked to calm when after he snapped. He looked at Stephen with such...gratefulness? Stephen felt Pepper run past him. Her attention on her dying husband. Peter’s body racked with tears. 

The green gem on Tony’s hand taunted him. 

_ Don't want to feel another touch _

_ Don't want to start another fire _

_ Don't want to know another kiss _

_ No other name falling off my lips _

_ Don't want to give my heart away _

_ To another stranger _

_ Or let another day begin _

_ Won't even let the sunlight in _

_ No I'll never love again _

_ I'll never love again _

_ Oh, oh, oh _

Stephen went through the other futures he saw. In each of them Tony and him were so happy. One they adopted Peter after Aunt May was killed by some guy called... Quinten? In another, Pepper was their surrogate and they got blessed with Morgan. 

In some others they had met Riri Williams. She was a classmate of Peter. Tony of course quickly took a liking to her. Eventually he convinced her to be the next Ironman. She became IronHeart. She had said the name Ironman was too scared to be used by someone else. 

Those were only one of million others. In some Stephen and Tony ended up as ex husbands, Steve ultimately got Tony back. In some Tony left Earth with the guardians. But in each one, Stephen fell in love with Tony. Even when he was with Pepper, or with Steve, Peter Quill or..

With him. 

Oh

_ When we first met _

_ I never thought that I would fall _

_ I never thought that I'd find myself lyin' in your arms _

_ Mmmm mmmm _

Stephen often went back to see that various other possible futures he had seen before. Wong tells him it’s wrong and useless. ‘Why torture yourself’ he asked. Stephen didn’t have an answer for him. 

_ And I wanna pretend that it's not true oh baby that you're gone _

_ Cause my world keeps turnin' and turnin' and turnin' and I'm not movin' on _

He’s sure that he could never move on fully from this. He’s sure that maybe he could learn to live with this guilt. But forget it and move on? Not possible. 

_ Don't want to feel another touch _

_ Don't want to start another fire _

_ Don't want to know another kiss _

_ No other name falling off my lips _

_ Don't want to give my heart away _

_ To another stranger _

Stephen knew it was not realistic. He knew he would fall in love with someone else. Human Nature was about yearning for love and giving love. 

_ Or let another day begin _

_ Won't even let the sunlight in _

_ No I'll never love _

But was Stephen determined to never call someone else his, to never kiss someone else, to never make love to someone else, never even feel happiness with someone else again. 

He didn’t deserve it. 

_ I don't wanna know this feeling unless it's you and me _

_ I don't wanna waste a moment _

_ And I don't wanna give somebody else the better part of me _

_ I would rather wait for you _

Stephen used to believe that an afterlife never existed. They were beings with limited time and that time came, well, whenever it did. But now he hopes there is one. He wants to see his Tony again. 

_ Don't want to feel another touch _

_ Don't want to start another fire _

_ Don't want to know another kiss _

_ Baby unless they are your lips _

Stephen closes his eyes as Peter gets closer to finishing the song. He can feel the tears escape his eyes.

_ Don't want to give my heart away _

_ To another stranger _

_ Don't let another day begin _

_ Won't let the sunlight in _

_ Oh I'll never love again _

_ Never love again _

_ Never love again _

_ Oh I'll never love again _

  
_ _ Stephen promises the universe that as he falls into sleep’s momentary empty safe haven.


End file.
